Talk about putting myself in a situation to test my sobriety; I went to a bar while I was in Chicago last week. Not one bar but two. To watch everyone around me drinking was oh so tempting but I held on to my ass and didn't throw away 11 months of sobriety. I wanted to so badly. The beer, the dirty martinis, the boisterous party atmosphere all contributed to tempting me. At one point I had to step out and call my sponsor. That helped me keep myself in check.
Speaking of fire, I smoked today. First time I bought a pack in over 3 months. It was either that or drink, so I chose the lesser of two evils. I gave the rest of the pack away to someone at a meeting though. I'll go back to the life of a non-smoker tomorrow. I won't go into what triggered it but it's been a rough couple of weeks, culminating in some memories I'd neatly locked away for years. It's rough because my sponsor is out of town and my mom is out of the country. And now I'm sitting here, after two meetings, listening to the serene (not) sounds of gunfire coming from Frank's pc while he plays APB. Oh joy.
No comments:
Post a Comment