Thursday, March 25, 2010
Belly Button Birthday
It's my belly button birthday. That's the day you're born as opposed to your AA birthday, the day you're reborn. It's another first. I can't remember the last birthday I spent sober. It's another first in a year of firsts and I'm ok with that.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Reaping the Rewards
I never realized how my drinking affected those closest to me. I didn't realize how much it took away from my quality of life; how much I was missing. Over the last few months, the veil has been lifted, a little at a time.
F and I have been together for years now but until I stopped drinking, it didn't occur to me that we were never truly connected. We've been through a lot and managed to keep the relationship afloat but it didn't flourish. He hid online, I hid in my bottle. We kept secrets from each other, lied to ourselves and each other. We pretended that things were good. They were ok but now I know that it can be so much better, so much more and it is.
We're both enjoying the benefits of my sobriety. He gets all of me now, not just the shell of me. I'm not saying it's all sunshine and roses but it's a heck of a lot better than it ever was. I'd like to think he's happier with me than he has been at any other time. I know I'm happier with him. I love our life together.
Thanks for sticking with me through this process, F. I wouldn't be the same without you.
F and I have been together for years now but until I stopped drinking, it didn't occur to me that we were never truly connected. We've been through a lot and managed to keep the relationship afloat but it didn't flourish. He hid online, I hid in my bottle. We kept secrets from each other, lied to ourselves and each other. We pretended that things were good. They were ok but now I know that it can be so much better, so much more and it is.
We're both enjoying the benefits of my sobriety. He gets all of me now, not just the shell of me. I'm not saying it's all sunshine and roses but it's a heck of a lot better than it ever was. I'd like to think he's happier with me than he has been at any other time. I know I'm happier with him. I love our life together.
Thanks for sticking with me through this process, F. I wouldn't be the same without you.
Friday, March 5, 2010
It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times
It's been 7 months and I'm so grateful for being able to make it this long without a drink. I'm glad I'm sober and have my head on straight because, let me tell you, if I didn't, I'd be on one hell of a bender right now. But everything happens when it's supposed to happen. I have to believe this or I'll go insane.
Someone I love is sick right now. Really really sick. And it's worse than was originally thought. I need to be sober to deal with it. I need to stay sober for her. She needs to know that she can call me anytime, day or night, and I'll be fully there for her. It's not all about me, it's all about her. I gave her the gift of my sobriety and damned if I'll take it away from her now, when she needs me most.
She's given me so much, it's the least I can do in return.
I will be here for you, sister. All of me for all of you.
Someone I love is sick right now. Really really sick. And it's worse than was originally thought. I need to be sober to deal with it. I need to stay sober for her. She needs to know that she can call me anytime, day or night, and I'll be fully there for her. It's not all about me, it's all about her. I gave her the gift of my sobriety and damned if I'll take it away from her now, when she needs me most.
She's given me so much, it's the least I can do in return.
I will be here for you, sister. All of me for all of you.
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