Spare Time and How To Fill It Without A Drink

So, work, school, sleeping, and meetings are a few ways I stay occupied but what about the rest of the time?

When I drank, my time was occupied and when it wasn't, I didn't care. Now I'm aware and awake and there's only so much I have to fill my time with. Books? Read 'em. Video games? Play them. Phone calls? There's only so much I have to say at any given time.

I need to find a hobby. My problem with this is that I get bored very easily. I always have but even moreso now. I also hate the time it takes to learn how to do the hobby du jour. I'm thinking about learning how to knit. What if all I can come up with is a long string and nothing more? Or I get as far as a pot holder and then it becomes like all the other hobbies I've tried to take up over the years; a single needle in a box (I've lost the other one somewhere along the way) and a ball of yarn the cats have adopted as a play toy.

Excuse me while I go ponder the universe that is my navel.

Step 4

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."

This one's been hard. I've been struggling with it for over a month but about a week ago I finally met with my sponsor to go over the list I'd made of those I'd felt had wronged me and the part I played in those wrongs.

I found a common theme in all of them. I felt abandoned. I felt disconnected. I accepted my part by realizing I withheld myself from those I thought had kept something from me. "That'd teach them."

While what they did truly did hurt me, I have to accept my part in it. There are always two sides and I've got to be accountable if I'm ever going to be able to move past these wrongs done me, forgive both the others and myself, and heal.